Grandma's Birthday

Sat in the car, eating our sandwiches made lovingly by my mother on a crisp but sunny Sunday morning/afternoon at Westonbirt Arboretum last weekend. We arrived in 2 groups, our family in one car from Bath, and my Grandparents, Uncle and 2 cousins in my Uncle's car from Somerset. Given our normally rubbish timing, and general bad luck, it was astounding that despite coming from 15 odd miles apart, and no communication between groups that morning, that we arrived within minutes of each other, and thus were parked by the staff only one row and approximately 6 cars apart!

So we sit, and eat our sandwiches, drink the tea that mum put in the flask, and generally are quite civilized for us Evans'. I should imagine the other car were in a similar situation, sandwiches made by my Grandma that morning (she made a big fuss about going to get the ham from the butcher that morning and was told she could NOT go there at 7am, but could get it enroute, by my Grandpa!!!)

"We have the cake" my mum suddenly announced.
Silence
"Er, right" I said, more to fill the silence than to contribute to any forthcoming conversation about cake (although any conversation about cake is generally ameniable I find, so I am not averse to it)
"We will go over in a moment and take it to her" my mum decided
my dad snorted
"Why?" This is a typical father response and following logic for the response "If we have the cake, why do we have to go to her? It makes more sense for them to come to us"
"but there are 5 of them and 4 of us" This didn't have much impact on my dad who merely raised his eyebrows sceptically (he's a teacher and thus has perfected the art of speaking without speaking) and so my mum felt compelled to add "And it's her birthday"
Another look from my dad and my mum gave in.
"Ok, then, I'll go over in a moment and ask them to come over here"
Moments passed
"Aren't you going then dear?"
"In a moment"
Worried about possible marriage failures over this simple thing, I volunteered a solution
"Don't worry, I'll text James"
'We would like to cordially invite you to our spacious car for some celebratory cake. x' I wrote.

What then followed was this conversation which happened in moments, had my mother and sister practically wetting themselves and my father was so impressed he fell asleep and started to snore. The other car, which we could see perfectly well, were also laughing hysterically, at one point you could hear the roar of laughter as one particular text of mine was recieved. This was how it went:
'Is there champers and candles?'
'Naturally....not. What bloody idiots do you take us for? We can just eat it ourselves you know.'
'We are on the way'
'We will keep a lookout'
'You wil never see us. We are highly trained in the art of suprise'
'We will release the hounds in that case'
'They will love the poison meat!'
'Don't talk about Grandma like that!'

I would like to point out that for the remainder of the day, Grandma referred to herself as 'PM' for 'Poison meat'.