You can't teach an old dog new tricks
Lucy is back and we have a full house, well we did once Nic got back from her jaunt away this weekend; and to celebrate we went out for a meal, at Frankie and Benny's.
On arrival we were informed there were no steaks, salad, raspberries (???), bananas, fishcakes or coleslaw. Rather confused we said that was fine and were soon seated with menu's picking what we wanted.
Mistake number one was sitting in between Mike and Nic who intermittently pulled my chair back and forth between them making me feel like I was 5 and having to tell them that they need to learn to share me and I love them both very much! Having pacified the children we set about ordering which prompted me to have to speak aloud and pronounce food names that I swear were designed not to be uttered by mankind and certainly not me! Fortunately I chose one that I thought was fine; Calzone Siciliana. The focus on that sentence folks is THOUGHT. Mike sniggered "I do love it when you have to order"
This propmted sympathy from Gilly who admitted that whilst in Rome she was laughed at not only by her Dad, but also the waiter, and deliberately ordered things only in English to avoid the embarassment.
Presently our orders arrived, and despite what we were told on entering the establishment, miraculously both mine, and Mike's calzone had salad!!! Gill also commented that the blurb about it being 'generously smothered' with sauce was a little optimistic as it was a table spoon at most. Gill was also missing her corn on the cob and on enquiring as to its wearabouts, and obviously giving the waiter the false impression she had some corn fetish, he came back with the sentence: "I'm sorry they seem to have run out of corn as well, but I can give you a corn relish as a substitute" He plonked a tiny paper cup on the table filled with what looked like a watery sweetcorn substance. You had to admire his effort, what a substitute it was!
After Mike had shown me, using two knives, how a knife sharpener works; Gilly's Mike ranted about his final year knife sharpening project; and after I'd stuck two straws in my mouth like fangs and posed for the picture (picture coming), and Gilly's Mike contorted his face in trying to get coke out of a glass which was too big for the two tiny straws supplied with the drink, and then ever the engineer, made one large straw with both; Lucy proposed that Mike invent some sort of safety device for moving archives in offices. Now this prompted a whole new thought process for some of us into the realm of moving archives, or shelving. For those of us who have not worked in offices the concept was difficult to imagine - so we had it demonstrated using of course 4 glasses of diet coke and apple juice. However, even that didn't convince Kirsty and Mike's hands became the 'walls of the room' and thus a part of the demonstration until she finally understood. Sadly Lucy's rather serious point about nearly being squished in between these shelves for lack of safety devices got somewhat lost in the abstract reconstruction with glasses!
After our meal, waiting for the food to digest conversation naturally turned to a sillier course of direction, this time around OCD's. Gill let slip that there are signs to whether or not you have OCD and intrigued by this I asked for elaboration. I got the rather odd "Imagine a swing swinging in your head, now, can you make it stop swinging." Immediately, for some unknown reason that happens when you are trying very hard to think, 7 pairs of eyes turned up towards the ceiling, squinting, desparate to conjour the image of a swing swinging. Lots of murmurs of 'ooh it is difficult' and 'yes I can just about do it if I blink and imagine a still swing' I piped up and said "I'm having difficulty imagining a swing" I squinted some more at some people stood outside the window.
"Good God" was Gilly's reaction as I contorted my face, and Mike mused that clearly I have issues if I can't even imagine a swing, let along one swinging.
This then developed into the 'who can do what inherited thing, and who feels like an idiot when they can't?' game and involved finger movement - where you move certain fingers without moving the others, nose wrinkling and continuous twitching, nostril flaring and ear wiggling to name but a selection. Imagine now a table of 7 all trying to do these things simultaneously, but not necessarily the same ones, as Mike commented "anyone looking at us now would think we're completely insane!"*
Upon leaving the establishment I spied a banana and shouted a little louder than intended "look it's a banana!" whereby I was hustled out quickly by Nic and Mike after several looks from other customers confirmed they thought we were all insane.
The party then moved home where Gilly and Kirsty thought it a good idea to attempt to get me to do Ballet poses in the kitchen again. This meant more 'look at my hands, LOOK at my hands, now look at your hands' comments from Gilly, who I think has a hand complex. But on the plus side it also meant nicer comments from her and Kirsty such as 'you're really quite flexible' something I would have disagreed with, and some rather vague advice such as 'you're strength is going to come from your back in this pose!' and 'imagine you have string running through you'!!!!!!. I managed a couple of poses, but don't ask me to name them, and I'm available for demonstration after 10pm tomorrow, tuesday, and thursday, and from 12pm onwards wed and 3pm Friday should anyone like to see!
And what have I learned from tonight? Well, that I'm apparently a lot more flexible than I thought, either that or I've dislocated some things severely. That I can easily touch my toes. I've learnt that Frankie and Benny's lie about most things; the amount of sauce, whether you get salad or not, or whether they have bananas; but that they are willing to substitute items for the closest alternative! I have learnt that there are such things as moving archives, and that these pose a serious threat to humankind when in the archives. I have learnt that even if I choose an item from the menu that I think I can pronounce, I probably can't and that people will laugh. I have learnt I have issues when it comes to imagining things, especially swings; and that I think I have OCD so far as my bed is concerned (not in a dodgy way). I have learnt that drinking coffee before bed means I need to stay up and write this blog, but most of all, I think I have learned that the value of friendship means far more to me than I can ever express in words. That the 6 other people I was at dinner with tonight are probably those that I am closest to, and feel most at ease and comfortable around; and without them, I would truly be lost. In the laughter, the silliness and stupidity, I left knowing how much I love Mike and how much I value the others' friendships.
*words modified because I find original sentence too offensive to post.
On arrival we were informed there were no steaks, salad, raspberries (???), bananas, fishcakes or coleslaw. Rather confused we said that was fine and were soon seated with menu's picking what we wanted.
Mistake number one was sitting in between Mike and Nic who intermittently pulled my chair back and forth between them making me feel like I was 5 and having to tell them that they need to learn to share me and I love them both very much! Having pacified the children we set about ordering which prompted me to have to speak aloud and pronounce food names that I swear were designed not to be uttered by mankind and certainly not me! Fortunately I chose one that I thought was fine; Calzone Siciliana. The focus on that sentence folks is THOUGHT. Mike sniggered "I do love it when you have to order"
This propmted sympathy from Gilly who admitted that whilst in Rome she was laughed at not only by her Dad, but also the waiter, and deliberately ordered things only in English to avoid the embarassment.
Presently our orders arrived, and despite what we were told on entering the establishment, miraculously both mine, and Mike's calzone had salad!!! Gill also commented that the blurb about it being 'generously smothered' with sauce was a little optimistic as it was a table spoon at most. Gill was also missing her corn on the cob and on enquiring as to its wearabouts, and obviously giving the waiter the false impression she had some corn fetish, he came back with the sentence: "I'm sorry they seem to have run out of corn as well, but I can give you a corn relish as a substitute" He plonked a tiny paper cup on the table filled with what looked like a watery sweetcorn substance. You had to admire his effort, what a substitute it was!
After Mike had shown me, using two knives, how a knife sharpener works; Gilly's Mike ranted about his final year knife sharpening project; and after I'd stuck two straws in my mouth like fangs and posed for the picture (picture coming), and Gilly's Mike contorted his face in trying to get coke out of a glass which was too big for the two tiny straws supplied with the drink, and then ever the engineer, made one large straw with both; Lucy proposed that Mike invent some sort of safety device for moving archives in offices. Now this prompted a whole new thought process for some of us into the realm of moving archives, or shelving. For those of us who have not worked in offices the concept was difficult to imagine - so we had it demonstrated using of course 4 glasses of diet coke and apple juice. However, even that didn't convince Kirsty and Mike's hands became the 'walls of the room' and thus a part of the demonstration until she finally understood. Sadly Lucy's rather serious point about nearly being squished in between these shelves for lack of safety devices got somewhat lost in the abstract reconstruction with glasses!
After our meal, waiting for the food to digest conversation naturally turned to a sillier course of direction, this time around OCD's. Gill let slip that there are signs to whether or not you have OCD and intrigued by this I asked for elaboration. I got the rather odd "Imagine a swing swinging in your head, now, can you make it stop swinging." Immediately, for some unknown reason that happens when you are trying very hard to think, 7 pairs of eyes turned up towards the ceiling, squinting, desparate to conjour the image of a swing swinging. Lots of murmurs of 'ooh it is difficult' and 'yes I can just about do it if I blink and imagine a still swing' I piped up and said "I'm having difficulty imagining a swing" I squinted some more at some people stood outside the window.
"Good God" was Gilly's reaction as I contorted my face, and Mike mused that clearly I have issues if I can't even imagine a swing, let along one swinging.
This then developed into the 'who can do what inherited thing, and who feels like an idiot when they can't?' game and involved finger movement - where you move certain fingers without moving the others, nose wrinkling and continuous twitching, nostril flaring and ear wiggling to name but a selection. Imagine now a table of 7 all trying to do these things simultaneously, but not necessarily the same ones, as Mike commented "anyone looking at us now would think we're completely insane!"*
Upon leaving the establishment I spied a banana and shouted a little louder than intended "look it's a banana!" whereby I was hustled out quickly by Nic and Mike after several looks from other customers confirmed they thought we were all insane.
The party then moved home where Gilly and Kirsty thought it a good idea to attempt to get me to do Ballet poses in the kitchen again. This meant more 'look at my hands, LOOK at my hands, now look at your hands' comments from Gilly, who I think has a hand complex. But on the plus side it also meant nicer comments from her and Kirsty such as 'you're really quite flexible' something I would have disagreed with, and some rather vague advice such as 'you're strength is going to come from your back in this pose!' and 'imagine you have string running through you'!!!!!!. I managed a couple of poses, but don't ask me to name them, and I'm available for demonstration after 10pm tomorrow, tuesday, and thursday, and from 12pm onwards wed and 3pm Friday should anyone like to see!
And what have I learned from tonight? Well, that I'm apparently a lot more flexible than I thought, either that or I've dislocated some things severely. That I can easily touch my toes. I've learnt that Frankie and Benny's lie about most things; the amount of sauce, whether you get salad or not, or whether they have bananas; but that they are willing to substitute items for the closest alternative! I have learnt that there are such things as moving archives, and that these pose a serious threat to humankind when in the archives. I have learnt that even if I choose an item from the menu that I think I can pronounce, I probably can't and that people will laugh. I have learnt I have issues when it comes to imagining things, especially swings; and that I think I have OCD so far as my bed is concerned (not in a dodgy way). I have learnt that drinking coffee before bed means I need to stay up and write this blog, but most of all, I think I have learned that the value of friendship means far more to me than I can ever express in words. That the 6 other people I was at dinner with tonight are probably those that I am closest to, and feel most at ease and comfortable around; and without them, I would truly be lost. In the laughter, the silliness and stupidity, I left knowing how much I love Mike and how much I value the others' friendships.
*words modified because I find original sentence too offensive to post.
posted by Culinali at 11:36 PM
1 Comments:
And we should mention the need for you and I to do ballet in the kitchen was to work off the dessert! But yum yum!
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