Indoor Fireworks

"I asked Tim to have a look at my hair straighteners"
"Why?"
"Because they aren't working, they've sort of...died"
"Right, and why did you ask Tim to do this?"
"Because he's an electrical engineer"
"Yes, to do with Helicopters, not hair straighteners"
"Well...you know" I shrugged my shoulders as Mike looked at me pathetically "Turns out it didn't matter" I continued
"How's that?"
"I blew them up!"
"You what?"
"I blew up my hair straighteners"
"How the fuck...."
"Well, I was poking around inside them, and you know what, they really don't want you to get inside hair straighteners, and Tim and I were trying to work out where the funny buzzing noise was coming from, and first I saw Tim hold the circuit board while they were on, and I was like 'oh is it ok to do that, you won't get shocked or anything?' and he was like 'no, it's fine', so then I decided to hold it, only I held a component which had metal on it, and I flew across the room! Tim was like 'was that hot, or shock?' and I was like 'ssshhhooock', it wasn't very pleasant."
Mike looked despairingly at me "You were fiddling around inside hair straighteners while they were on?"
"Yes"
He sighed
"Well, they had to be plugged in, because otherwise you couldn't hear the buzzing noise they were making"
He looked blankly at me
"I burned my thumb" I said looking sheepish "when it shocked me"
"Ok"
"Anyway" I continued "what was more embarassing was the fact that i'd just been boasting about how I was using a screwdriver with a PLASTIC handle on it, to avoid electrocution, after last time, with the plug at 223, when I decided to take a short cut and instead of screwing the cover back on the plug, just plug it into the mains, forgetting it had metal in it, and my hand was touching the metal, and I shocked myself. And then I go and touch another metal thing carrying electricity and STILL shock myself"
Mike looked at me with a withering look
"So," I continued not put off by this at all "Then I really, really had to find out what was wrong with them, and so i was poking around with the screwdriver having learnt my lesson, and suddenly 'BANG' and there were sparks, and smoke, and soot...."
Mike's eyebrows raised "You mean you actually blew them up blew them up?"
"Yes, and we had to check that it hadn't set fire to my rug or anything, but it was ok, it hadn't, but they aren't working at all now, there is no way they are ever going to work again. Tim looked at them and told me I'd managed to blow a transistor" I grinned "it's quite hard to do" I said proudly "and he said I was lucky, sometimes the ends fly off them when you do that, but it didn't happen this time"
Mike groaned
"Apparently I managed to cross two components with the metal of the screwdriver to short circuit it, something about a live one and a grounded one, which caused the bang and sparks."
"you're proud of this aren't you?"
"Well, if they weren't going to work before, they certainly aren't now, and I can add them officially to my list of things I've blow up: 2 hairdryers, a computer monitor, a printer, 2 tv's, a stereo, a hoover and a pair of hair straighteners" I grinned at mike, he gave me a blank look back.
"Another reason why you shouldn't be involved with electrics"

With links like this, how could I resist? "Transdimensional deer materialize on power lines. The mystery is still unsolved"

Yesterday I burned my finger on a photocopier! It hurt, suprisingly a lot. Today I have a blister where the end of my finger was. To block out the trauma I am laughing at silly stories, have a look, and laugh along with me.

"Police Hunt Hallucinogenic Toad Thief"
"Mysterious Cheese" let me know if you did...I didn't ....at first, but then I had to go back and try!
"The Official Alexander Sphere Appreciation Society" The mind boggles! Well, mine does.

This morning, I was informed by Kirst that there was a giant spider in the bath...again. Giant perhaps not, but large and scary, definitely so. I killed it bravely with boiling hot water, this is the preferable method I have chosen to get rid of these horrible creatures. (watch the animal lovers slate me for this, and see if I care!). Baths are great, they trap spiders, they cannot escape out of the bath because the sides are too slippery and steep for them. This means that they cannot get back out and SCUTTLE AROUND YOUR HOUSE WITHOUT YOU KNOWING; something I find particularly horrible about them. So why, why, why, would anyone patent this idea??? Animal activist I'm thinking!

I wish I had nails, but frankley these women are just scary....I'd like to grow my nails but not to these disproportionate lengths.

Ok, when I read "Amazon Whacking" I just had to click to find out more....I suggest all those who are bored/trying to avoid working/trying to avoid other people/need a life/did English or related degree should try this. prize for the longest Amazon Whack.

And I leave you with the image of what I will shortly have if I don't stop clicking on all these links "Overworked Mouse"

Ps I got them all from this site (sorry little mouse, just one more click)

Ghostly goings on

Whether or not you believe in ghosts, I would like you to look at something and give me your opinion.

I have always been interested in what is called 'paranormal'; I remain sceptical, but think there are things that cannot always be explained. This may simply be becuase we do not fully understand them, as I once heart Yvette Fielding say on an interview about Most Haunted 'years ago people used to think lightening was some kind of magic, that was just because they didn't understand it, science has moved on and now we do understand it we know it's not magic. Ghosts may be scary because we don't yet understand them, there may be fully rational explanations that we have not yet discovered'

Still I find the whole concept fascinating. Mike has given up all hope on me, and thinks he's lost me to some dark side, as he keeps saying 'you're going all weird on me', eh, and he thought he knew me after 2 1/2 years!!! Muhhahahaha.
Still...he hasn't left...yet...so I think he may tolerate my interest with scepticism and occasional outbursts of 'are you fucking crazy, there is nothing there'. Ah, now what he is referring to in that sentence, was my lastest interest. Ghostcams.
Yes, laugh away if you will, but I find it fascinating, webcams/video set up to record any paranormal activity.
Now, don't get me wrong, I'm not toally falling for every tiny thing that looks like it might be a ghost, I am, as I say, sceptical myself. There is one webcam which is not the best quality especially at night, it is very easy to think shift in light is something moving.

The best webcam I have found, and ok, gotten slightly addicted to watching I'll admit, is the Willard Library ghostcam. I never actually think i'm ever going to see anything, I'll be honest. So many pictures that have been submitted by others make me think 'I can't see anything!!!!' and sometimes I'm convinced people are hallucinating. So watching halfheartedly the other day whilst listening to the Dropkick Murphey's CD mike bought me, I suddenly froze. I captured the image. It suddenly appeared, probably because the webcams update every few seconds so there is a time delay, that's not the weird bit. Take a look mine is the last picture on the page under 'alleycat' (can't get it to upload so use the hyperlink)

It looks like a person, sure, that was what my first reaction was, it's a person on the stairs. Why is it black? Totally and utterly? I've seen people going up and down those stairs on the cam before, they aren't all silhouetted, they have colour, and depth, another thing this lacks. No depth to the colour. It isn't blurred, so it's not caught the motion of whatever it is, it's a very clear outline. You can see legs, arm, body, possible cape. Why is the head so small in proportion as well? That's another thing I don't understand.
So, laugh away, but in all honesty, I'd like you to feedback on this picture, because I'd like to know views. The things above are the things that I don't understand about it, so I'm throwing it open to discussion and rational explanations from you guys.

Cheers.

Grandma's Birthday

Sat in the car, eating our sandwiches made lovingly by my mother on a crisp but sunny Sunday morning/afternoon at Westonbirt Arboretum last weekend. We arrived in 2 groups, our family in one car from Bath, and my Grandparents, Uncle and 2 cousins in my Uncle's car from Somerset. Given our normally rubbish timing, and general bad luck, it was astounding that despite coming from 15 odd miles apart, and no communication between groups that morning, that we arrived within minutes of each other, and thus were parked by the staff only one row and approximately 6 cars apart!

So we sit, and eat our sandwiches, drink the tea that mum put in the flask, and generally are quite civilized for us Evans'. I should imagine the other car were in a similar situation, sandwiches made by my Grandma that morning (she made a big fuss about going to get the ham from the butcher that morning and was told she could NOT go there at 7am, but could get it enroute, by my Grandpa!!!)

"We have the cake" my mum suddenly announced.
Silence
"Er, right" I said, more to fill the silence than to contribute to any forthcoming conversation about cake (although any conversation about cake is generally ameniable I find, so I am not averse to it)
"We will go over in a moment and take it to her" my mum decided
my dad snorted
"Why?" This is a typical father response and following logic for the response "If we have the cake, why do we have to go to her? It makes more sense for them to come to us"
"but there are 5 of them and 4 of us" This didn't have much impact on my dad who merely raised his eyebrows sceptically (he's a teacher and thus has perfected the art of speaking without speaking) and so my mum felt compelled to add "And it's her birthday"
Another look from my dad and my mum gave in.
"Ok, then, I'll go over in a moment and ask them to come over here"
Moments passed
"Aren't you going then dear?"
"In a moment"
Worried about possible marriage failures over this simple thing, I volunteered a solution
"Don't worry, I'll text James"
'We would like to cordially invite you to our spacious car for some celebratory cake. x' I wrote.

What then followed was this conversation which happened in moments, had my mother and sister practically wetting themselves and my father was so impressed he fell asleep and started to snore. The other car, which we could see perfectly well, were also laughing hysterically, at one point you could hear the roar of laughter as one particular text of mine was recieved. This was how it went:
'Is there champers and candles?'
'Naturally....not. What bloody idiots do you take us for? We can just eat it ourselves you know.'
'We are on the way'
'We will keep a lookout'
'You wil never see us. We are highly trained in the art of suprise'
'We will release the hounds in that case'
'They will love the poison meat!'
'Don't talk about Grandma like that!'

I would like to point out that for the remainder of the day, Grandma referred to herself as 'PM' for 'Poison meat'.