Kidnapped!

"How was your day?"
"Ok, Boring, same old stuff I suppose. Yours?"
" Well......I did a home visit with German Girl, and essentially got locked in a flat on the 3rd floor of a Tower Block, with a suicidal crazy woman, who was brandishing a knife, waving it around and who threatened to kill herself, or, more preferably, her neighbour; and anyone else that 'backed her into a corner'; like us if we said the wrong thing."
"Ok, your day wins"

"I do"

I put my hand on the bar of the trolley, gazed up at Mike and smiled inwardly. This was perfect. Mike glanced down at me and caught my eye and smiled; and I knew he was thinking what I was.
"I like this" I said "I feel like a proper couple"

He stopped and looked at me face on, and then it happened:

"Oh God! We're in a Garden Centre on a Saturday, we might as well be walking down the aisle!!!"
"We're buying fucking compost, don't exaggerate!"

"why are we leaving the sunshine? Look at the cloud, look at that BLACK FOREBODING CLOUD WE ARE DRIVING TOWARDS...."
"Shut up, you sound like a child"
"Are we there yet?"
"Shut up!"
"But really, LOOK, look at the cloud, OH MY GOD, why are we leaving the sunny side of Birmingham"
(surrogate parents together) "Shut up!"
Suddenly the car in front of us brakes, due to the bus to the side of that trying to pull out into the side of the car in front of the car in front of us!!! I assume our driver sees this, but serious lack of braking whos this is obviously not the case. "Miiiiiiiiikkkkkkkeeeeeeee!" I scream as we nearly, oh so nearly lose our lives by careering into the back of the car in front.
The screech of tyres reluctantly grinding against tarmac rings in my ears, and through the smoke from the tyres we are relived to find we came inches from crashing. I glare whilst trying not to shake.
"Sorry, I was looking at that woman's stupid hat" He looks sheepish "Well, it was very stupid"