Edinburgh

Edinburgh is a gorgeous city, it is Georgian enough to remind me of Bath, and therefore feel at home; yet it is old enough, with it's winding streets and narrow closes to be different from Bath and therefore feel exciting and new.
I want to live there, and I am already planning my move there, have been infact all weekend.

'Wheeeeeeeeeeeee' I skidded along Dave's kitchen floor in my socks, 'Wheeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeooooooooouccccccch' I watched in horror as one leg went one way and the other went on a trip in the opposite direction and I landed, oh so ladylike on my arse.
'You didn't see that!' I threatened Jack who was, quite possibly, on the verge of wetting himself.

"Ok guys" Said Dave entering the living room that is the size of our house "My dad is trying to be cool, and he wants me to offer you his beer...he's like the dad out of American Pie" Dave sighed.
Minutes later Dad enters the living room
"Did David offer you my beer? I told him to offer you my beer!"
"Yes, dad, I did, they're fine, god you're like the dad off of American Pie"
He looked up towards the ceiling trying to recollect who this was "Och aye, yes, no I don't think so, am I???" He looked slightly horrified.

"While we're here, we should climb Arthurs Seat"
"What's that?"
"It's the mountain" i said gesturing to the other side of Edinburgh
"it's not a mountain, its a hill"
"it's a mountain!"
"Hill"
"Mountain"
"Dave, you live here, is that a mountain?"
"no"
"It is!"
"Ali, it's a fucking molehill, infact you are quite literally making a mountain out of a molehill!"

"Lara, erm, I'm not quite sure how to tell you this, but, well, I tried to convince Dave but apparently there is nothing we can do, er, due to the lack of beds and rooms, it looks like there is no alternative but for you and Ali to be sleeping in my room tonight!"
"Jack, come up with a new line, you say that every time"
"hmmm You said it to me at your party too Jack, to me and Rox"
"He said it to me at his party too!"
"there you go then, Jack, come up with a new catchphrase"
"Bollocks!"

Me talking to Dave's Dad:
"your parrot is very cool, but why doesn't he speak when anyone's in the room?"
"We're not sure, we think he likes to listen to people rather than speak, but he's clever"
"Oh yeah, you can see that, he's constantly watching"
"Aye, and he'll be all quiet like and then suddenly he'll do a really accurate imitation of your voice."
"really?"
"Aye, we hear it all the time, especially when David came back from uni, suddenly the parrot was saying all kinds of things, like 'wax on, wax off', I dunno!" He shrugged his shoulders.

"Did you get the tickets"
"Yes, after a bit of a mix up!"
"What do you mean 'bit of a mix up'?"
"Well, I went up and said, 'Hi I phoned through earlier and reserved 4 tickets' And the guy said 'What name?' So I said 'Fulford' and he looked down the list and went 'hmmmmnope no Fulford' And I started to panic and I was like 'maybe the guy misheard me?' and then to my relief he found the tickets under another name."
"What other name?"
"Furlong, Mr. Furlong!"

"Right, we're going to have a group photo, it's going to be arty, so, Lara in the foreground, then Ali to her right, then Dan behind Ali. Ok? Got it? Right, One, Two, Three, Smile!.....Dan you've got your fucking eyes closed, ok, right again, one, two, three, smile!.....DAN you've fucking done it again. Right, last time; one, two, three.....DAN!!!!!!!"

Doesn't Dan's face just tell you this was the 3rd attempt!

Walking through a French Market in the town with Jack:
"Honey!"
"Yes, Sweetie?"

"Ok, so where is the restaurant" Jack asked into his phone...."yes we're walking along Grassmarket now, we'll be about 5 minutes then, see ya"
"Are you sure we're going the right way?"
"Yes"
"are you positive"
"For fucks sake Ali, yes!"
"Let me see the map"
"See, we are here, and we need to be, ah, right, up there, yes, ok, well, we'll turn back round and go up those steps"
I smiled smugly to myself.
5 minutes later
"Yeah, we're walking along castle street, be with you in 2 minutes, it's near what venue, right ok"..."It's near venue 152"Jack said to me
"Well that's 152 up there"
We walked, we walked further
"Yeh, we're still on castle street, yeah, oh right ok, see you in two"..."we have to keep going to the end of this road"
"Are you sure?"
"Yes, he said keep going to the end of the road"
"I've a feeling it's further back up the road, the other way"
"Ali, it isn't, I promise."
"Ok."
"Er, Excuse me ladies" Jack stops a bunch of ladies "do you know where the Blue Theatre is?"
"No, sorry we don't"
"I'm telling you, it's back there."
"Hi yeah, we're still on castle street" Said Jack whipping out the phone for the umpteenth time "Right, ok, walk back along, ah right, ok yeah, see you in two minutes"
"So?"
"So, we need to turn round and walk back"
"Told you so!"
"Ali, what a stupid idea to come along this way, I told you it wasn't this way!"
I opened my mouth to speak but nothing came out
"He said we need to go up the steps, what steps? There are no steps, what the fuck is he talking about?"
"Does he mean the steps we already came up?"
"Ah"...."Excuse me, do you know where the Blue Theatre Restaurant is please?"
"Och aye, no, there is a Blue Cafe by the Traverse Theatre up there though!"
"yes! Yes! That's it! Jack, he mentioned the Traverse Theatre earlier today!"
"right, so we go back up here (this street we've been fucking walking up and down for half an hour) and turn off."
"So we need to turn back AGAIN"
"Ali, that was such a stupid idea to come this way, why did you suggest it!!!!"
"What????? Mr. I know where I'm going don't worry."

Knock Knock
Lara and I looked at each other
"Come in" We said simulataneously
From the other side of the door came "I hope you're both er, decent and er, not doing anything you shouldn't be!"
Lara and I looked at each other and sighed at Jack's lecherous comment!

"hehe, look at you two, beautifying yourselves up!"
"What about it?" I grunted as I battled with a hand held mirror and a tube of foundation that wanted to go over the mirror and not my face
"Nothing, it's just amusing the lengths you go to"

"Jack, why are you holding a pillow?"
"Jack's special!"
"I'm fucking holding it because I bought it for the train and travelling"
"You look so special carrying it up the street"
"Oh for fucks' sake, shut up all of you!"

When in the FIRST CLASS, yes that's right, first class carriage on the way back to Durham Jack entertained us with his middleclass accent:
"Why are we still in the station, no seriously people, why are we still here? I have a game of polo in three hours, I simply CANNOT be late."

Being in First Class clearly went to Jack's head
"I'm so glad we're sat here and not with all the commoners, one finds it such a relief to be away from all the common people!"