Jazz hands are at the forefront of our nation's security!
Woke up at 5 am feeling very confused.
'I'm in Mike's bed' I thought, 'it's a single' then I reconsidered 'no, that can't be right, I'm in my bed, stop being silly' I felt over the side of the bed with my eyes still shut 'no' I thought 'I'm definitely NOT in my bed...too small' I opened my eyes a little bit, the grey light was no use, except, the window was opposite me 'I'm in Tim's bed- the window is opposite me' then my head seemed to clear as I really took in my surroundings, the fact that I was over 4 feet in the air, the fish tank in the corner, the TINY bedroom, no trains 'No' I thought as the fuzz cleared away and relief settled in at finally knowing where I was 'I'm at home! In my bed!' I climbed down the ladder and set off in search of the bathroom, hoping it was still where I'd left it the previous evening, at the end of the hall!!
This will confuse Gill if I now don't explain that I'm going to 'backtrack'....to friday. To make this clearer I will switch to a different colour font.
I went to uni and had a free lunch, chatted to some people on our course but years below us, debated whether my Scottish tutor was part of the Maffia, made the wonderful comment of
"Yes I can see Andy as a maffia member- a hold up with a haggis!"
Then I came home and packed - that was hard to do as the previous blog will explain!! I did not have to resort to sitting on my suitcase though, something I was fairly proud of! After a rush of packing, and retrieving my toothbrush at the last moment, I set off for the train station and Worcester. There was a 'moment' where I panicked -the train was for Shrub Hill not Foregate Street, I don't really know worcester having only been there twice (once when I was 12 and on a trip with school, and the other time last summer with Mike when we went to foregate street which is right in the centre) so I was concerned that maybe Shrub Hill was on the outskirts. I phoned Tim who reassured me he would still meet me and still check the time it was due.
Half an hour later and I was getting off the train and into Tim's bright red shiny new car that worryingly requires no keys at all!
On entering Tim's flat I immediately made myself at home- suitcase was opened with a snigger from Tim who then commented 'I bet you had to sit on that to get it closed didn't you?' and an indignant reply from myself.
Slippers out....washing that I'd forgotten to get out of the machine earlier onto a dryer, and sat in front of the TV scrupulously examining tim's BOOKSHELF (that is taller than me) of DVD's. A cup of tea, and a game of mini pool (by myself) later, and I'm sat on the breakfast bar area when a funny look crosses my eye, the ground is ever so slightly wobbling (and this was before I'd been drinking)
"Did the ground just move for you?" enquires Tim
My eyes opened wide "Yes!" I said astounded.
"Ah, that'd be the trains" Tim said knowingly ...his apartment backs onto a railway line!!! It is a very odd sensation, similar only to that which you get before you realise you are on your way to being drunk and swaying.
A Bottle of wine, Spaghetti Bolognaise and half of Big Brother later and Tim decides to show me Worcester. We head off for 'Heroes' a nice little bar, in a backstreet with a regular drunk outside. It's an old building, low beams and ceilings, and although similar to snobs in the customers it holds, and the music it plays, is definitely a step up the sophistication ladder.
We settle on a settee behind an old fireplace and are shortly joined by tim's friends James and Sian. Sian is the only other person I know (not on our course or associated with work) that is a Youth Worker!
The conversation then switched to how Tim and James are integral to the Nation's security (if I told you why, I'd have to kill you!) at which point I was led back to thinking about my Birthday a week earlier in Snobs....there were Jazz hands at one point (aimed at Nic, Lucy, Gill and Kirst) from Tim....yes Tim and his Jazz hands are an integral part of our Nation's security- how safe does that make you feel?? It is, quite frankly, worrying! This is Tim, who leans on a soldering iron and ends up with a burn, cuts his finger in the lab and puts his arm on a socket leaving a nice little mark on his forearm...all in one day.
This is tim who is worried that his car is more intelligent than he is....and he is in the forefront of our nations defence. If it doesn't bother you, IT SHOULD.
We left at one with the other two and headed for home, I managed to get a few beats in on the way- yellow car in the car park, which tim contested was a white car under a funny light, and while he was contesting that, a yellow taxi pulled up!! No denying that one, Sian and James laughed aloud and witnessed it!
Back at the flat I had some water, and said goodnight, tucking myself up in Tim's bed that he gave me for the night. He claims this was because he is a good host, I claim it's so he could get a good night's sleep on the couch away from the trains that start thundering past at 5 am!
The morning brought forth packing, Bacon sandwiches, orange juice and resentment about getting beats from the previous night being dissipated. Then we set off in the shiny new car on a roadtrip home. Roadtrip! Lol, within seconds of being on the M5 we encountered the curse of Bank holiday weekends, no, not caravans, although they were out in force....TRAFFIC JAMS. On off, on off, on off.....MINI- beats....stop, start, stop, start YELLOW CAR- beats. This continued fo r a while, Tim's shoulder getting more and more bruised.
We got off the M5 at Stroud and went the scenic route! Via Yellow JCB's which I got beats for. And many Mini's which Tim got beats for. It entertained us. However, I was holding back my secret weapon for last.
Directing tim the last bit home into the city the back way (no tourists), I was thinking more and more about my secret weapon. Staying remarkably controlled. Left here, right there, straight on, over the traffic lights, turn left immediately after the traffic lights, straight up the hill, turn right and 'YELLOW VAN' lots of beats as we turned the corner into my road.
'ouuuuccchhh' exclaimed Tim knowing I had got the last laugh. 'which one is your house?'
I laughed 'the one with the yellow van outside!'
Oh sweet sweet revenge!
Tim now has a sore upper arm to add to the list of injury's!
'I'm in Mike's bed' I thought, 'it's a single' then I reconsidered 'no, that can't be right, I'm in my bed, stop being silly' I felt over the side of the bed with my eyes still shut 'no' I thought 'I'm definitely NOT in my bed...too small' I opened my eyes a little bit, the grey light was no use, except, the window was opposite me 'I'm in Tim's bed- the window is opposite me' then my head seemed to clear as I really took in my surroundings, the fact that I was over 4 feet in the air, the fish tank in the corner, the TINY bedroom, no trains 'No' I thought as the fuzz cleared away and relief settled in at finally knowing where I was 'I'm at home! In my bed!' I climbed down the ladder and set off in search of the bathroom, hoping it was still where I'd left it the previous evening, at the end of the hall!!
This will confuse Gill if I now don't explain that I'm going to 'backtrack'....to friday. To make this clearer I will switch to a different colour font.
I went to uni and had a free lunch, chatted to some people on our course but years below us, debated whether my Scottish tutor was part of the Maffia, made the wonderful comment of
"Yes I can see Andy as a maffia member- a hold up with a haggis!"
Then I came home and packed - that was hard to do as the previous blog will explain!! I did not have to resort to sitting on my suitcase though, something I was fairly proud of! After a rush of packing, and retrieving my toothbrush at the last moment, I set off for the train station and Worcester. There was a 'moment' where I panicked -the train was for Shrub Hill not Foregate Street, I don't really know worcester having only been there twice (once when I was 12 and on a trip with school, and the other time last summer with Mike when we went to foregate street which is right in the centre) so I was concerned that maybe Shrub Hill was on the outskirts. I phoned Tim who reassured me he would still meet me and still check the time it was due.
Half an hour later and I was getting off the train and into Tim's bright red shiny new car that worryingly requires no keys at all!
On entering Tim's flat I immediately made myself at home- suitcase was opened with a snigger from Tim who then commented 'I bet you had to sit on that to get it closed didn't you?' and an indignant reply from myself.
Slippers out....washing that I'd forgotten to get out of the machine earlier onto a dryer, and sat in front of the TV scrupulously examining tim's BOOKSHELF (that is taller than me) of DVD's. A cup of tea, and a game of mini pool (by myself) later, and I'm sat on the breakfast bar area when a funny look crosses my eye, the ground is ever so slightly wobbling (and this was before I'd been drinking)
"Did the ground just move for you?" enquires Tim
My eyes opened wide "Yes!" I said astounded.
"Ah, that'd be the trains" Tim said knowingly ...his apartment backs onto a railway line!!! It is a very odd sensation, similar only to that which you get before you realise you are on your way to being drunk and swaying.
A Bottle of wine, Spaghetti Bolognaise and half of Big Brother later and Tim decides to show me Worcester. We head off for 'Heroes' a nice little bar, in a backstreet with a regular drunk outside. It's an old building, low beams and ceilings, and although similar to snobs in the customers it holds, and the music it plays, is definitely a step up the sophistication ladder.
We settle on a settee behind an old fireplace and are shortly joined by tim's friends James and Sian. Sian is the only other person I know (not on our course or associated with work) that is a Youth Worker!
The conversation then switched to how Tim and James are integral to the Nation's security (if I told you why, I'd have to kill you!) at which point I was led back to thinking about my Birthday a week earlier in Snobs....there were Jazz hands at one point (aimed at Nic, Lucy, Gill and Kirst) from Tim....yes Tim and his Jazz hands are an integral part of our Nation's security- how safe does that make you feel?? It is, quite frankly, worrying! This is Tim, who leans on a soldering iron and ends up with a burn, cuts his finger in the lab and puts his arm on a socket leaving a nice little mark on his forearm...all in one day.
This is tim who is worried that his car is more intelligent than he is....and he is in the forefront of our nations defence. If it doesn't bother you, IT SHOULD.
We left at one with the other two and headed for home, I managed to get a few beats in on the way- yellow car in the car park, which tim contested was a white car under a funny light, and while he was contesting that, a yellow taxi pulled up!! No denying that one, Sian and James laughed aloud and witnessed it!
Back at the flat I had some water, and said goodnight, tucking myself up in Tim's bed that he gave me for the night. He claims this was because he is a good host, I claim it's so he could get a good night's sleep on the couch away from the trains that start thundering past at 5 am!
The morning brought forth packing, Bacon sandwiches, orange juice and resentment about getting beats from the previous night being dissipated. Then we set off in the shiny new car on a roadtrip home. Roadtrip! Lol, within seconds of being on the M5 we encountered the curse of Bank holiday weekends, no, not caravans, although they were out in force....TRAFFIC JAMS. On off, on off, on off.....MINI- beats....stop, start, stop, start YELLOW CAR- beats. This continued fo r a while, Tim's shoulder getting more and more bruised.
We got off the M5 at Stroud and went the scenic route! Via Yellow JCB's which I got beats for. And many Mini's which Tim got beats for. It entertained us. However, I was holding back my secret weapon for last.
Directing tim the last bit home into the city the back way (no tourists), I was thinking more and more about my secret weapon. Staying remarkably controlled. Left here, right there, straight on, over the traffic lights, turn left immediately after the traffic lights, straight up the hill, turn right and 'YELLOW VAN' lots of beats as we turned the corner into my road.
'ouuuuccchhh' exclaimed Tim knowing I had got the last laugh. 'which one is your house?'
I laughed 'the one with the yellow van outside!'
Oh sweet sweet revenge!
Tim now has a sore upper arm to add to the list of injury's!
posted by Culinali at 3:34 pm
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