Botanical Gardens, frisbee, pedantic parents and ageist staff!
I woke up unhappy. I realised properly for the first time today, that actually, I get an unclassified degree. That I get the same as someone who hardly worked, there will be nothing on my degree certificate to say how hard I worked. There will be nothing to distinguish me apart from those that couldn't be arsed. And I don't even get a payrise- the whole reason I came to uni in the first place was to get the JNC so that my pay was on the JNC scale and therefore an awful lot more than it would otherwise be. Of course, how was I to know that the university I had chosen was one that doesn't award proper degrees. And there was nothing that could have told me that actually, halfway through the degree the JNC payscale would be stopped, so I wouldn't even get more money for doing my job. I felt, this morning, like I had wasted 3 years of my life. And I sobbed. So hard for so long because the realisation truly filled me with sadness. More than anything I would like something that was written to prove how hard I did work for three years constantly, and particularly the last year, where I was on the edge of a breakdown for working so hard. When I realised my average was 71.6 I was elated, I cried. I'd done it, the sweat, the tears, and worse had not been for nothing. This morning, that was dashed, it had been for nothing.
I wasn't really in a good mood and shouldn't have left my bed I realise. On days like this I should just have one of those days you spend lounging around in bed.
I went to the Co-Op instead, which was mistake number 2 (mistake number one was getting out of bed). I had to wait 15 minutes because my card wouldn't work. Not only did it not work, it crashed the system. Mike was impatiently tapping his watch, and the queue were staring at me like I was the devil.
We were late getting back, but somehow we managed to still be ready on time for going to meet Emma and Toni- for we were going to Emma's Pimms Picnic in the Botanical Gardens. Other people alas were not ready, so after a while a few of us left, not wanting to leave Emma and Toni on their own.
When they rocked up at the pub we had a debate about how to get there, nearly everyone was in favour of the bus, so we ambled up through the university to a bus stop (despite me saying you could get a bus from the uni station) and waited. It must have only been a few minutes before someone pointed out there were no buses on a Sunday. Cue, very long walk to the Botanical gardens. I would like to point out at this point also that I was doing all this on the foodfuel of a plum and two forkfuls of spag bol (balanced diet I know!).
Relief when we reached the gardens. But that was where things started to go from bad to worse, seriously worse...
Firstly, paying. Easy you'd think! Clearly not! I had a £10 note, nothing too unusual about that I often have these about me. I showed my student ID and the woman said "£3.60 please" I gave her the note and she said, quite brusquely "do you have anything smaller?"
"I'm sorry, I don't" I replied. She sighed very audibly and I consequently felt I was committing some dreadful crime. "I can probably find the change to make it up though" I said making the mistake of thinking I was being helpful.
"That's no good" she said harshly, followed by patronising tone of "We don't have any five pound notes"
Misunderstanding that they must have SOME money, I said amicably "Oh, I don't mind having coins."
Cue audible sigh again and VERY patronising voice of "We don't have any of those either!" I very nearly said in the same patronising tone "well that's not MY fault" as I was clearly made to feel like it was.
This set the scene for the rest of the day sadly. We proceeded to the main lawn (second pic) sharpish as we were starving, and there was a brass band playing and kids running around and roly polying it down the hill and a group playing cricket and lots of picnics. We set ours up next to the mixed group playing cricket and proceeded to eat and drink Pimms and lemonade...mmmm.
After dining, we decided to play frisbee. I've lost count how many mistakes I've made but this was perhaps the biggest. Unfortunately one of the frisbee throws meant it rolled down the hill and into a man's back. Mike went after it, apologising and the man was fine with it. Sadly though, 10 minutes later it happened again, and rolled onto their little boys foot (makes your heart bleed doesn't it?!) Cue Angry Parents (with appropriate capitals). The man AP decided to shout at me, telling me I was stupid, that it was a compltely inappropriate game to play, and finishing at one point with "Actually I'm going to take this (frisbee) off of you" before deciding that was clearly not a good enough point to stop at and shouting some more at me. I told him politely that I understood, but thought he was being unreasonable and unecessarily rude. Cue AP number two: THE WIFE. Oh the shouting from her was bitchier on a much higher level than I'm used to (of course she was much OLDER than me, so is probably more experienced in underhanded bitchy shouting than I am, how I learned from her what to aim for in life though!) I nearly cried. Nearly. I'm glad I didn't but maybe if I had they may have had some remorse. However, I doubt it after their next actions.
I told them we would leave them alone and not disturb them any more and walked off with the leaving comment of 'Please pick your litter up before you go, it's disgusting' not sure what that was, my tongue trying to get in some bitchiness before I went I think. Who knows? It was, I was pleased to see, being blown over the lawn.
I walked with some dignity back to the group, who I was equally as annoyed with for not coming over and supporting me and allowing me to take the bollocking myself when it wasn't me that threw it. They asked if I wanted to play again and got a curt reply. The group we'd been sat next to, a mixed group of adults, picked up on what had happened and decided to shout, quite loudly things like:
"No ball games here please!" "No running on the grass" "No fun allowed here"
until the AP and child had finished their tea and moved...as they walked past the group more of these things were shouted. Not by us, totally them. It obviously sufficiently pissed them off to see us laughing at their cat calling (at their stupidity and stuck-up ness) for them to go inside and complain. Cue 5 minutes later an ANNOUNCEMENT on the tannoy to say "would all guests please be reminded that throwing games are not permitted" bastards. It would be 'throwing games' wouldn't it? More cat calling from our new friends.
To lighten things up we decided to copy the children and have good clean fun with rolling down the hills races. Nothing wrong with that. We also made it more interesting with rolling me up in a blanket, and then rolling the blanket down so that it unrolled and I kept going. That was fun. Much more like it, the day could still be salvaged.
No.
We were only on our second race when a staff member came over and told us to stop. On enquiring why we had to stop she said that we might roll into other children. I asked her to tell everyone, all the other children to stop too, otherwise that was unfairly picking on us. She then looked at me and said 'are you members?' (clearly implying there are different rules for members) but before I could reply said 'just start acting your age'. Oooh I leapt on that 'Excuse me that is ageist and I find it offensive'. She huffed and walked off.
How rude?
I know, but the best bit was when she first started to come over to us and started telling us to stop, an older member of hte group who had been next to us but started to pack up came over and had a go at her for telling us off, saying 'this is just a group of young people having fun, they're not doing any harm, leave them alone.' That was really good of him. And even as we walked past another family, muttering about not being able to have fun, they were giggling saying 'there was nothing wrong with what you were doing' and 'we were having fun watching you'.
It has really annoyed me, becuase we were so typically typecast as 'troublemakers' by so many people today. As someone pointed out, we could have just gone and drunk beer all day, got pissed and been abusive. As it was we were having a civilized picnic with a little drink and having fun, that was spoilt.
I tell you something though, it totally made me realise how pissed off my young people get when they are typecast like that. It got me really irate. To be told to stop having fun, I fully realised what it must be like for them to be told to stop playing football in the park and to disperse. It really irked me being pigeon holed and treated like that.
And whatever happened to our society to make us like this? When did we start to impose rules that forbid fun for young people? And why? Do we really think it makes them better people? Or are we setting ourselves up for a huge fall when the repurcussions really start? If we treat people in this way, then we are actually part of the problem and can't blame them for backlashes. I was so angry, I really was, all it succeeded in doing to me by telling me not to do it, was A) complain loudly and B) do it even more to piss them off even more. Now I totally understand why young people continue to do things when people shout at them. It's not that they are daft and don't realise the repurcussions, they totally do, it's just worth it to see them pissed off even more. It really caught my rebellious streak, my teenage streak.
I want people to realise this and bear it in mind the next time they want to tell people not to do something fun like playing football in the road. It will only piss them off even more if you do, and they WILL only find a way to pay you back, double (if you're lucky).
And I leave you with the memorable quote of "You are only as old as you feel." Personally, I feel no older than 8 a lot of the time, and that's how I intend to stay, I do not want to become one of the people who conforms to society and the 'standards' they seem to impose, I do not want to be one of these fuddy duddy 'adults' who are too scared to have any kind of fun, or who believe that they MUST conform and be sensible and not let loose their childish side. We all have a bit of a childish streak, harness it, use it, and enjoy having fun. Don't lose that, when you lose that, you really do, in my mind lose out in life.
I wasn't really in a good mood and shouldn't have left my bed I realise. On days like this I should just have one of those days you spend lounging around in bed.
I went to the Co-Op instead, which was mistake number 2 (mistake number one was getting out of bed). I had to wait 15 minutes because my card wouldn't work. Not only did it not work, it crashed the system. Mike was impatiently tapping his watch, and the queue were staring at me like I was the devil.
We were late getting back, but somehow we managed to still be ready on time for going to meet Emma and Toni- for we were going to Emma's Pimms Picnic in the Botanical Gardens. Other people alas were not ready, so after a while a few of us left, not wanting to leave Emma and Toni on their own.
When they rocked up at the pub we had a debate about how to get there, nearly everyone was in favour of the bus, so we ambled up through the university to a bus stop (despite me saying you could get a bus from the uni station) and waited. It must have only been a few minutes before someone pointed out there were no buses on a Sunday. Cue, very long walk to the Botanical gardens. I would like to point out at this point also that I was doing all this on the foodfuel of a plum and two forkfuls of spag bol (balanced diet I know!).
Relief when we reached the gardens. But that was where things started to go from bad to worse, seriously worse...
Firstly, paying. Easy you'd think! Clearly not! I had a £10 note, nothing too unusual about that I often have these about me. I showed my student ID and the woman said "£3.60 please" I gave her the note and she said, quite brusquely "do you have anything smaller?"
"I'm sorry, I don't" I replied. She sighed very audibly and I consequently felt I was committing some dreadful crime. "I can probably find the change to make it up though" I said making the mistake of thinking I was being helpful.
"That's no good" she said harshly, followed by patronising tone of "We don't have any five pound notes"
Misunderstanding that they must have SOME money, I said amicably "Oh, I don't mind having coins."
Cue audible sigh again and VERY patronising voice of "We don't have any of those either!" I very nearly said in the same patronising tone "well that's not MY fault" as I was clearly made to feel like it was.
This set the scene for the rest of the day sadly. We proceeded to the main lawn (second pic) sharpish as we were starving, and there was a brass band playing and kids running around and roly polying it down the hill and a group playing cricket and lots of picnics. We set ours up next to the mixed group playing cricket and proceeded to eat and drink Pimms and lemonade...mmmm.
After dining, we decided to play frisbee. I've lost count how many mistakes I've made but this was perhaps the biggest. Unfortunately one of the frisbee throws meant it rolled down the hill and into a man's back. Mike went after it, apologising and the man was fine with it. Sadly though, 10 minutes later it happened again, and rolled onto their little boys foot (makes your heart bleed doesn't it?!) Cue Angry Parents (with appropriate capitals). The man AP decided to shout at me, telling me I was stupid, that it was a compltely inappropriate game to play, and finishing at one point with "Actually I'm going to take this (frisbee) off of you" before deciding that was clearly not a good enough point to stop at and shouting some more at me. I told him politely that I understood, but thought he was being unreasonable and unecessarily rude. Cue AP number two: THE WIFE. Oh the shouting from her was bitchier on a much higher level than I'm used to (of course she was much OLDER than me, so is probably more experienced in underhanded bitchy shouting than I am, how I learned from her what to aim for in life though!) I nearly cried. Nearly. I'm glad I didn't but maybe if I had they may have had some remorse. However, I doubt it after their next actions.
I told them we would leave them alone and not disturb them any more and walked off with the leaving comment of 'Please pick your litter up before you go, it's disgusting' not sure what that was, my tongue trying to get in some bitchiness before I went I think. Who knows? It was, I was pleased to see, being blown over the lawn.
I walked with some dignity back to the group, who I was equally as annoyed with for not coming over and supporting me and allowing me to take the bollocking myself when it wasn't me that threw it. They asked if I wanted to play again and got a curt reply. The group we'd been sat next to, a mixed group of adults, picked up on what had happened and decided to shout, quite loudly things like:
"No ball games here please!" "No running on the grass" "No fun allowed here"
until the AP and child had finished their tea and moved...as they walked past the group more of these things were shouted. Not by us, totally them. It obviously sufficiently pissed them off to see us laughing at their cat calling (at their stupidity and stuck-up ness) for them to go inside and complain. Cue 5 minutes later an ANNOUNCEMENT on the tannoy to say "would all guests please be reminded that throwing games are not permitted" bastards. It would be 'throwing games' wouldn't it? More cat calling from our new friends.
To lighten things up we decided to copy the children and have good clean fun with rolling down the hills races. Nothing wrong with that. We also made it more interesting with rolling me up in a blanket, and then rolling the blanket down so that it unrolled and I kept going. That was fun. Much more like it, the day could still be salvaged.
No.
We were only on our second race when a staff member came over and told us to stop. On enquiring why we had to stop she said that we might roll into other children. I asked her to tell everyone, all the other children to stop too, otherwise that was unfairly picking on us. She then looked at me and said 'are you members?' (clearly implying there are different rules for members) but before I could reply said 'just start acting your age'. Oooh I leapt on that 'Excuse me that is ageist and I find it offensive'. She huffed and walked off.
How rude?
I know, but the best bit was when she first started to come over to us and started telling us to stop, an older member of hte group who had been next to us but started to pack up came over and had a go at her for telling us off, saying 'this is just a group of young people having fun, they're not doing any harm, leave them alone.' That was really good of him. And even as we walked past another family, muttering about not being able to have fun, they were giggling saying 'there was nothing wrong with what you were doing' and 'we were having fun watching you'.
It has really annoyed me, becuase we were so typically typecast as 'troublemakers' by so many people today. As someone pointed out, we could have just gone and drunk beer all day, got pissed and been abusive. As it was we were having a civilized picnic with a little drink and having fun, that was spoilt.
I tell you something though, it totally made me realise how pissed off my young people get when they are typecast like that. It got me really irate. To be told to stop having fun, I fully realised what it must be like for them to be told to stop playing football in the park and to disperse. It really irked me being pigeon holed and treated like that.
And whatever happened to our society to make us like this? When did we start to impose rules that forbid fun for young people? And why? Do we really think it makes them better people? Or are we setting ourselves up for a huge fall when the repurcussions really start? If we treat people in this way, then we are actually part of the problem and can't blame them for backlashes. I was so angry, I really was, all it succeeded in doing to me by telling me not to do it, was A) complain loudly and B) do it even more to piss them off even more. Now I totally understand why young people continue to do things when people shout at them. It's not that they are daft and don't realise the repurcussions, they totally do, it's just worth it to see them pissed off even more. It really caught my rebellious streak, my teenage streak.
I want people to realise this and bear it in mind the next time they want to tell people not to do something fun like playing football in the road. It will only piss them off even more if you do, and they WILL only find a way to pay you back, double (if you're lucky).
And I leave you with the memorable quote of "You are only as old as you feel." Personally, I feel no older than 8 a lot of the time, and that's how I intend to stay, I do not want to become one of the people who conforms to society and the 'standards' they seem to impose, I do not want to be one of these fuddy duddy 'adults' who are too scared to have any kind of fun, or who believe that they MUST conform and be sensible and not let loose their childish side. We all have a bit of a childish streak, harness it, use it, and enjoy having fun. Don't lose that, when you lose that, you really do, in my mind lose out in life.
posted by Culinali at 6:45 pm
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