Back to spit roasting again...

On a warm summers evening, what else is there to do but sit back in the garden with a chilled beer, chatting to your friends and having a BBQ? Personally I can think of few things better, and thus we had our impromptu BBQ at mikes.
Of course I failed to mention what one should chat about with one's friend at said BBQ. You may think, the weather, as it's such a British topic of conversation, but you'd be wrong. You may think Mike's new job, as he starts tomorrow, and whilst that featured briefly, it was not the main topic. Finally you may guess something as wild as our plans for the next year, and you'd not even come close.
You probably wouldn't immediately think we'd discuss sex, more sex, a few strippers, some more sex, lapdancing thrown into the equation for good measure, and spit roasting to finish with!
But that is what happened. Quite how we got onto knowing how X's (preserving annonymity on here, although those who were there know who i'm tlaking about) mum really enjoys sex and how she was heard enjoying sex by X and X's friend who was staying over one night, and how Y's mum didn't know what a blow job was and how Y had to explain it to her I really don't know. The topic gets more bizarre- Puppetry of the Penis *- when discussing this line of conversation my quote realy took the biscuit:
"They do things with it, like make famous landmarks, like the Eiffel Tower...I just don't know how they do it"

Mike whilst laughing at my innocence and possibly stupidity, then said in a mock voice 'can we spit roast a panda?'
"oh shut up, your'e never going to let me forget that are you?"
'No'
"spit roast a what?" said Louise
And thus the downward spiral of conversation continued in one LONG drop! So I made the mistake of trying to explain that quote we all know and love by now.
"I don't understand" Said Louise
Thank the lord there is a God, "Louise doesn't get it either, it's not just me!"
"Yeah is it just me that's not getting what this is?"
Mike sighed
I explained
"spit roast, is, apparently, a sexual position..."
"...involving two men and a woman" Mike completed my sentence (God we're getting so couply we're even completing each other's sentences)
After a bit of 'ah I see' from various others who were innocent like myself, I had the misfortune to open my mouth, and the even bigger misfortune to let words come out of it. Specific words, these words:
"I still don't get how it would work. I mean how does the woman stay in the air?"
Cue raucus laughter from EVERYONE and I do mean everyone.
After 10 or so minutes, it quietens enough for Mike to say
"you don't acutally think the woman is suspended do you?"
I quietly nodded and said 'well I don't know'
More laughter....at me!
"You don't suspend the woman in the air darling, it's not like you put her over a fire and turn her around as well" Mike said between snorts of laughter.
I looked at the floor and felt myself turn a shade of beetroot, I mumbled to myself, trying to console myself.
I get the distinct feeling, that I might just, possibly just, have outdone myself on stupid quotes. I get the even more distinct feeling that no one is going to remember (except possibly Mike) that I admitted to seeing male (and female from a distance) strippers tonight. Neither will they remember that I mentioned my mother once told me where I was conceived. I'm not even sure that X and Y's disclosures earlier mentioned will be remembered. What I am positively sure of, is that tonight, everyone will remember what I said about spit roasting, and what I'm even more positively sure of is that Mike will never, EVER let me live it down or forget it. This is one of the many reasons I should not be allowed to open my mouth in public-oh god, even that in the context of this conversation topic leaves a distasteful feeling....I'm going to shut up now.


* All those who were there tonight, please take note, they are appearing right here, in Birmingham, on the 16th November