So much left unsaid...
Sometimes it's not what you say, or even how you say it, remarkably it's what you don't say that can spell out a thousand more things than if anything was said.
In regards to this, I got my hair cut in a 'choppy' style today. Not what I originally thought would happen, but then I was a little vague with the girl about what I wanted- 'layers, kinda up to about here (shoulders)' when asked what the shortest layer I wanted was I replied red faced with 'er, oh, um well I'm not sure, I don't really know, here is the shortest one i've got now' the woman kindly pointed out this was feathering around my face, not layers, to which i went even redder! We finally agreed on something and she got to work on washing and then cutting it.
She was a student, so I have some sympathy for her, but she obviously didn't feel too comfortable cutting my hair in this way and kept asking for direction from her supervisor which didn't lend me much confidence- none actually. The more she cut it the more I began to realise it would very much be a different style to anything I've had before, but also that this wasn't necessarily a bad thing.
I like it. I'd just like to say that, sure it's short, certainly shorter than anticipated, and rather than just tidying up the layers, she's given me more and a completely different style. But although at first my initial reaction (which is the same whichever hairdresser I go to, however much it costs and whatever style it is) was: 'oh god, I'm not sure I like it!' after scrutinising it a little longer as she dryed it off and styled it, I really became quite attached to it. Walking around town I had the 'I've had a new haircut' look on my face, which was mirrored in my actions of swishing my hair and looking at it in every window/mirror/thing that reflected me!
And then I came home (after spending a little of my pay packet). I warned Mike that I didn't think he'd like it. It was much shorter than we had discussed, and I know he likes longer hair. But I was still secretly hoping that like me, he'd come round quickly and really quite like it. Even the words 'it's not so bad' would have been a comfort.
He rang the doorbell and muttering 'oh god, oh god, oh god' under my breath I descended the stairs and went to the door. Shouting through the door 'I'm only going to open this if you promise not to shout at me' and getting no reply was not a good start. Reluctantly I opened the door a fraction and let him in. He didn't look too amused. Or too happy. Or too anything really. Stunned is perhaps a better word.
We went upstairs whereby he said 'It doesn't look like you' (welcome to my world when you shaved the moustache off!) followed by 'It doesn't look like my ali-cat!' Worse was to come. Then he said 'It's a good cut, don't get me wrong. But you know I don't like short hair, and worryingly you look just like one of my ex's'.....the response he got to that was me bursting into tears.
"Don't worry" he said "I don't like them any more"
"I know" I blubbed "you dumped them... you didn't like them any more" I was fearful he'd not like me any more looking as I did.
He took me into his arms and cuddled me for ages, telling me just how much he loved me regardless of what cut or colour my hair was and that he had no intention of leaving me.
Finally I stopped blubbing only to discover my mascara had run completely and I looked like a panda at best!
For ages he just cuddled me, but although he didn't really expand any more on what he'd said, I know he hates it. And I feel now like I've made such a mistake, because he doesn't think I'm as attractive any more, he doesn't like it.
I thought that wearing new clothes bought in M&S (sale!) might placate the response, and divert his attention, but he didn't even notice the clothes, or shoes...
What am I going to do?
x
In regards to this, I got my hair cut in a 'choppy' style today. Not what I originally thought would happen, but then I was a little vague with the girl about what I wanted- 'layers, kinda up to about here (shoulders)' when asked what the shortest layer I wanted was I replied red faced with 'er, oh, um well I'm not sure, I don't really know, here is the shortest one i've got now' the woman kindly pointed out this was feathering around my face, not layers, to which i went even redder! We finally agreed on something and she got to work on washing and then cutting it.
She was a student, so I have some sympathy for her, but she obviously didn't feel too comfortable cutting my hair in this way and kept asking for direction from her supervisor which didn't lend me much confidence- none actually. The more she cut it the more I began to realise it would very much be a different style to anything I've had before, but also that this wasn't necessarily a bad thing.
I like it. I'd just like to say that, sure it's short, certainly shorter than anticipated, and rather than just tidying up the layers, she's given me more and a completely different style. But although at first my initial reaction (which is the same whichever hairdresser I go to, however much it costs and whatever style it is) was: 'oh god, I'm not sure I like it!' after scrutinising it a little longer as she dryed it off and styled it, I really became quite attached to it. Walking around town I had the 'I've had a new haircut' look on my face, which was mirrored in my actions of swishing my hair and looking at it in every window/mirror/thing that reflected me!
And then I came home (after spending a little of my pay packet). I warned Mike that I didn't think he'd like it. It was much shorter than we had discussed, and I know he likes longer hair. But I was still secretly hoping that like me, he'd come round quickly and really quite like it. Even the words 'it's not so bad' would have been a comfort.
He rang the doorbell and muttering 'oh god, oh god, oh god' under my breath I descended the stairs and went to the door. Shouting through the door 'I'm only going to open this if you promise not to shout at me' and getting no reply was not a good start. Reluctantly I opened the door a fraction and let him in. He didn't look too amused. Or too happy. Or too anything really. Stunned is perhaps a better word.
We went upstairs whereby he said 'It doesn't look like you' (welcome to my world when you shaved the moustache off!) followed by 'It doesn't look like my ali-cat!' Worse was to come. Then he said 'It's a good cut, don't get me wrong. But you know I don't like short hair, and worryingly you look just like one of my ex's'.....the response he got to that was me bursting into tears.
"Don't worry" he said "I don't like them any more"
"I know" I blubbed "you dumped them... you didn't like them any more" I was fearful he'd not like me any more looking as I did.
He took me into his arms and cuddled me for ages, telling me just how much he loved me regardless of what cut or colour my hair was and that he had no intention of leaving me.
Finally I stopped blubbing only to discover my mascara had run completely and I looked like a panda at best!
For ages he just cuddled me, but although he didn't really expand any more on what he'd said, I know he hates it. And I feel now like I've made such a mistake, because he doesn't think I'm as attractive any more, he doesn't like it.
I thought that wearing new clothes bought in M&S (sale!) might placate the response, and divert his attention, but he didn't even notice the clothes, or shoes...
What am I going to do?
x
posted by Culinali at 5:07 pm
1 Comments:
Bollox, Ali, quit worrying, a haircut is a haircut, and only a tiny bit of the whole that is Ali Evans, and the Ali that Mike fell in love with. He still finds you attractive, I promise. I expect it was just a bit of a shock.
And anyway, 1) hair grows
2) if you like it, that's all that matters. It's on your head, not Mike's. Remind him of the moustache thing.
I've got an almost similar thing with Dunc, in that he's always saying he prefers my hair long. I've got it long at the moment, but just out of curiousity, as it's been years since I really grew my hair. But I expect I'll get bored at some point and cut it off again to the chin length jobby I've quite often had. Dunc will probably whinge for 2 minutes, but to be honest I won't really give a shit and neither should you.
Chin up xxxx
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