Google is Bad
So I never thought I'd utter these words, but 'Google is Bad' with a capital 'B'. On a whim, which I'm never doing again, I typed in an ex's name....I do this every so often, mostly because I want to know what he's doing- he was highly intelligent, a literal Albert Einstein as Phsyics and Mathematics were his field, and I'm still convinced one day he'll come up with some genius theory or discover something and be famous. Only today I find out, courtesy of Google and Friends Reunited (not that I want to reunite with him- I was double checking what I read on Google) that he is no longer at teh University of Southampton, instead he has moved to the University of Adelaide- Australia.
Look, I've never had any regrets about leaving the bastard, anyone who knows me will tell you the misery he put me through with another girl being involved- note word 'girl' not woman! 16 to be precise, and he was 25! Yes, anyway, another story. I was very unhappy, I've never had any regrets about the choice I made- again people know the choice and dilemma I had. However, bear in mind, this guy once told me in his cryptic way, we 'could' be together forever. His way of stating committment I guess...
It scared me then, those of you who know me know why! But not enough to leave, and he was a multimillionnaire heir....not that that ever bothered me either- money scares me to be honest. As long as I have enough to get by I'm perfectly happy. I'd rather be poor and happy, than rich and unhappy- which is what it would have turned out like I think.
But Australia. *if* i'd stayed, that is a big if you all know, if i I'd stayed, just think- beaches, holidays, he could pay- he was rich enough dammit- hot, hot holidays.....shouldn't think like this I know, but it just naturally makes me wonder what *could* have been.
I know deep down, nothing would ever have happened long term between us, 5 months and I was so unhappy I was glad to leave, and like I say, never any regrets. The only thing really nagging me is whether he took the slut with him or not...cos I've always maintained despite evidence that pointed the other way, that he never actually did anything with her, or was interested in her, that it was her manipulating the situation the whole time. And I still believe that- if she didn't go. Because after we broke up, everyone said she'd be first on the scene, she outright asked me to leave him so she could be with him! Plucky 16 year old I have to say. She put me through hell and back in that relationship, and if it wasn't for her, maybe, just maybe we'd have made it longer... Who knows. But I always contested the fact that he'd go out with her, I was convinced, and still am, that he wasn't interested in her, it didn't make sense- he did so much to placate me. Stopped contacting her, wouldn't speak to her- that was why she got so mad and spoke to me directly! Lol, crazy bitch.
But if he did, if he did get with her, and took her to Australia, then I think I'd be annoyed, because I'd feel like a fool.
I'm not going to google her to find out....I'm going to try to resist anyway. Maybe I need to know. Oh god. This is bad now isn't it....leave it Ali, leave it.
I'm going to sit on my hands, so that I don't find out.
ali x
Look, I've never had any regrets about leaving the bastard, anyone who knows me will tell you the misery he put me through with another girl being involved- note word 'girl' not woman! 16 to be precise, and he was 25! Yes, anyway, another story. I was very unhappy, I've never had any regrets about the choice I made- again people know the choice and dilemma I had. However, bear in mind, this guy once told me in his cryptic way, we 'could' be together forever. His way of stating committment I guess...
It scared me then, those of you who know me know why! But not enough to leave, and he was a multimillionnaire heir....not that that ever bothered me either- money scares me to be honest. As long as I have enough to get by I'm perfectly happy. I'd rather be poor and happy, than rich and unhappy- which is what it would have turned out like I think.
But Australia. *if* i'd stayed, that is a big if you all know, if i I'd stayed, just think- beaches, holidays, he could pay- he was rich enough dammit- hot, hot holidays.....shouldn't think like this I know, but it just naturally makes me wonder what *could* have been.
I know deep down, nothing would ever have happened long term between us, 5 months and I was so unhappy I was glad to leave, and like I say, never any regrets. The only thing really nagging me is whether he took the slut with him or not...cos I've always maintained despite evidence that pointed the other way, that he never actually did anything with her, or was interested in her, that it was her manipulating the situation the whole time. And I still believe that- if she didn't go. Because after we broke up, everyone said she'd be first on the scene, she outright asked me to leave him so she could be with him! Plucky 16 year old I have to say. She put me through hell and back in that relationship, and if it wasn't for her, maybe, just maybe we'd have made it longer... Who knows. But I always contested the fact that he'd go out with her, I was convinced, and still am, that he wasn't interested in her, it didn't make sense- he did so much to placate me. Stopped contacting her, wouldn't speak to her- that was why she got so mad and spoke to me directly! Lol, crazy bitch.
But if he did, if he did get with her, and took her to Australia, then I think I'd be annoyed, because I'd feel like a fool.
I'm not going to google her to find out....I'm going to try to resist anyway. Maybe I need to know. Oh god. This is bad now isn't it....leave it Ali, leave it.
I'm going to sit on my hands, so that I don't find out.
ali x
posted by Culinali at 11:30 pm
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